So… I was sitting in bed the other night trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with my internal clock and my increasingly ridiculous sleep pattern when I had a realisation. So many of the things I used to worry about before becoming ill I now acknowledge amount to no more than trivial bull poop. I used to worry about being too fat, too short, too lary on a night out. That sort of stuff. What a load of old tripe. How shallow. How trivial. That realisation is liberating.
So it got me thinking, what positives can I take from all of this?
Well, The Wonk puts into perspective other concerns about my physical appearance for a start. You don’t give a stuff about your belly when all eyes are on something else. Come to think of it, it makes you realise how transient and irrelevant physical ‘beauty’ is anyway, not just for me but for all of us. It leaves us all, in time. It really doesn’t matter. It’s not an achievement. Appearance is no indication of the true beauty of an individual. It may be a cliche, but it’s true – beauty comes from within. Think about the people you love. Do you love them because they are physically beautiful? Have the people who have added something positive to your life done so because they look pretty? I doubt it. I expect it is their inner beauty you treasure – their kindness, their intelligence, their humour.
Yes, I love makeup… it makes me feel good and that’s not going to change but keep it in perspective. Don’t obsess about it. Treat yourself as kindly as you treat others. Be your own best friend. Do you judge your best friend on the basis of their looks? No? Then why put so much pressure on yourself to look ‘perfect’ …and what does that even mean??
It’s also made me appreciate that some people in society feel as though they are invisible. Older people and those with physical disabilities, for example. I’m sure I’ve been guilty of this myself in the past, but do others really ‘see’ them? I mean, really? Do you brush past an older person in a supermarket without a passing glance in circumstances in which you’d smile at someone of your own age? Would you avoid making eye contact with someone in a wheelchair? We are not defined by our limitations and shouldn’t be seen that way by others. We are more than that. So in that respect I think TW has probably made me a slightly better person. I make eye contact with people (I’m ashamed to admit) I might not have looked at before. I even give them a Wonky smile.
TW has also made me realise how lucky I am to have such a supportive and loving family, and I know who my friends are. They’re the ones who come over to me just to watch TV or suggest going to see a movie. Something which doesn’t involve much talking but means that we’re still spending time together. They’re those who, when I’ve had a drink or ten, take selfies with me putting on The Wonk themselves. Those who take the pi**! They’re those who have nights in at my house now instead of at theirs or out somewhere. Those who realise that it’s hard for me to travel and who make allowances for that. And more importantly, they’re those who make me forget TW and remind me what true friendship means. It means acceptance and understanding, laughter and unconditional love.
If you’re reading this, you know who you are. I hope I am half as good a friend as those I cherish.
I love you, guys!